Glossary
               of
    Nuldoid Terms

Blobalobbs – Nuldoid house pets resembling throw pillows, sometimes found in the wild, and hunted by Oidenoids. Blobalobbs are furry creatures with no appendages of any sort. They are generally quite unpleasant and, though they cannot actually do any harm, they can growl when they’re annoyed. Nuldoids enjoy the creatures’ unpleasant personalities, and—with the use of a small round diaper—they are practically maintenance free.  

Dorggob Bokk – Hero of the Stinky War of Rotten Smells (723-728 C.C.). Bokk famously argued with the commander of a firing squad that he could not be shot because his “last meal” was “much not cooked.” In fact, Bokk lived another eleven days, eating mediocre meals until, finally, he was served a perfectly prepared flank steak froote, medium-rare, smothered in a cilantro-almond pesto,  that he thoroughly enjoyed and eagerly gobbled up before he was executed. Hence the Nuldoid expression, “Food dat’s fit for Bokk.”

Crustoids – Although, technically, this term refers to any creature that lives on the Crust of Hoidenall, it is generally used in Nuldoid to refer to humans.
 
The Croibish Stigg Oiden Invasion – After nearly 250 years of relegation to the wilderness of Neither Norr, the Oidenoids retook Nuldoid. Though it is not referred to in this text, it was the subject of a book by Russ Woody, published in 2015. 

Delnoids – Nuldoid’s third sex. The Delnoid lifestyle is highly coveted by Nuldoids, since it’s leisurely and devoid of relationships with an opposite sex. Delnoids spend most of their time pursuing hobbies (a favorite is Goffle-off). Their powers are greater than regular Nuldoids because they are not subject to the distractions associated with sexual relationships, allowing them greater focus.

Disinformation – Out of a deep concern that humans might one day wise up and move “inland,” Nuldoids began—in the early 19th century—to disseminate as much misinformation as possible about the earth’s core. The following excerpt, for example, is supposedly from the “Nevada Seismological Laboratory,” and is quoted freely in school textbooks:

As anyone who’s been to Nuldoid knows, this is all gibberish.

Doidell voids – Large circular tunnels formed thousands of years ago by confused and less-than-intelligent Fishing Worms within the Pockets of Roundlet, where wind has been trapped indefinitely. As a result, anything or anyone caught in one is usually doomed to circle forever. 

Draggirds – Small creatures with bodies like lizards and wings like bats. They are considered a nuisance and a safety hazard because, when startled or frightened, fire bursts from their backside. The Draggird, by the way, is the origin of medieval dragon legends here on the Crust. An expedition of Nuldoids (sent to retrieve a Crystal from the countryside of England in our 11th century) accidentally left behind a pet Draggird just outside of Ipswich, Suffolk. When a group of surveyors came across the little creature, the Draggird was quite frightened, of course, and let out a number of small bursts of fire. The surveyors easily killed the helpless creature and ate it. Then, as they passed through one village to the next, the story of their encounter became more and more exaggerated. By the time they reached their home in Great Baddow, the Draggird had grown to nearly thirty feet, was fierce in nature, and breathed huge, billowing bursts of fire from its mouth. Stories of these “dreaded” creatures grew throughout Europe until the little Draggirds became the terrifying dragons we know of today.  

Droiden Frobble Dynasty – The Droiden Frobbles preceded the Nuldoids, and date back several thousand years. Though their exact origin is unclear, most Nuldoid scholars agree, its founder was a woman named Lois.

Fishing Worms – Large worms that live and tunnel in the walls and structures of Neither Norr. They are so named for their uncanny ability to place themselves at the opening of a tunnel and align their massive lips to the contours of the tunnel’s opening, so that the casual observer (usually a Nuldoid) sees only the entrance to a tunnel and steps in unawares. The Fishing Worm’s mouth then slams shut and the little Nuldoid is crushed and swallowed. Future filmmaker George Lucas nearly became a victim of a Fishing Worm in the summer of 1967 when he was traveling through Neither Norr. The experience became the basis for the horrific creatures in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.  

Froote (pronounced fruit) – All food in Nuldoid and the Region of Neither Norr comes from froote. Froote also provides a great many other things like motor oil, detergent, hand lotion, medicine, plastic and (as Mishkin Hobble and Lily learned) certain things that cannot be easily explained. The more tasty and exotic froote grows near the underside of the Crust.  

Globb Trobbers – Large wooly animals that roam The Plains of Low Weather. When these creatures have to travel great distances, they gather in small groups to form large “wheels,” enabling them to roll from place to place. Unfortunately, this method of travel precludes them from seeing exactly where they’re going, and so they often run into things, and occasionally off cliffs.

Gloibs – Extinct breed of Draggird. They died out perhaps a hundred years before this story began, when the older males became competitive with each other and forced their offspring out of their respective nests before the little ones were capable of flying. Even though the older males hadn’t realized the consequences of their actions, the females did and would no longer have anything to do with the males, which, as well, helped doom the breed. 

Goffle-off – Leisurely sport similar to “golf.” It is enjoyed by Delnoids and regular Nuldoids alike (though Delnoids have more leisure time). Goffle-off differs from golf only in that there is not a hole in the green. Instead a convicted public official is confined to the green by a secured tether. Nuldoids score by beaning the official in the least amount of shots.  

Good Riddance Day – The kicking out of Oidenoids from Nuldoid in 813 of the Cylindrical Calendar (C.C.), referred to by Oidenoids as The Unjust Purge of Nuldoid. For nearly fifty years beforehand, the Oidenoids of Nuldoid insisted that theirs was the only and true interpretation of Lloyd’s word (see War of Decaying Values). It was a source of irritation and argumentation for most Nuldoids, so the movement went pretty much unnoticed until 812 C.C. The Oidenoids then refused to argue the point any further, opting to push for legislation enforcing their interpretation of The Book of Nuldoid. Nuldoids then decided to banish all Oidenoids to The Region of Neither Norr.   

Gorkken Stobbles – Extinct animals with long snouts and bulbous bodies, depicted on the coins of the Droiden Frobble Dynasty. They were frequently used by the ancestors of Nuldoidians to siphon liquids and clean up spilled substances. Unfortunately, a young Droiden Frobble named Budd discovered that stomping on a Gorkken Stobble created a prolonged and humorous farting sound that many of his friends found humorous. After the practice became a common, the creatures died out.  

Grumplett – Nuldoid unit of currency, the fronts of which depict thinkers and philosophers who have caused a great many arguments in Nuldoid. The face of the one-grumplett bill shows a Nuldoid street sweeper, Lute Hoggle, who reportedly engaged in over 87,000 individual arguments before his sixth death in 924 C.C. The front of the three-and-a-half grumplett bill displays Her Lowness, Eunice Tukk, who invented a faulty blender that caused most of the domestic squabbles of the early 960s. The backs of all Nuldoid currency depict the end of Lloyd’s 13th life when he was crushed to death between two cogwheels in the Cathedral of the Wheel.

Harvesters – The frontiersmen of Nuldoid, a motley group of Nuldoids who care not so much for city life or cleanliness. Harvesters roam the outer regions of Neither Norr collecting exotic froote to bring back to Nuldoid in their shopping carts. They usually have spotlights mounted on their shoulders, and wear long dark coats with many pockets. And, while it is true they do not like Oidenoids, they do not actually enjoy killing them and collect their skins.  

“Hib nobb del noid” – The essence of Nuldoid. The term is used when Nuldoids are performing acts of magic, but its significance runs much deeper. It refers to the Nuldoidian belief that everything exists in a circle. Therefore happiness is next to unhappiness, evil is next to good, fat to thin, wrong to right, etc. The literal translation is: “Within dat circular circle, circles all dat is ta be moved in dat circle.” An often-overlooked aspect of the concept is movement, which Nuldoids believe is essential within any circle. This movement, they believe, is brought about by conflict and dissent.   

Hoboggs – Nuldoid’s homeless. Many of them reside in the corridors of the Emperor’s Palace. While most Nuldoids find Hoboggs greatly annoying, the same can be said for how Hoboggs feel about most Nuldoids. After all, Hoboggs consider public property to be their personal property because, to their way of thinking, no one is more the public than they.

Hoidenall – Nuldoid word for Earth.  

King Hal – One of the last of the Droiden Frobble rulers, before the establishment of Nuldoid. Droiden Frobble coins of the era depicted his beheading—“Kingg Hal’s Beann Choppin’.” While little is known about Hal himself, it is known that he believed the “peeeple serves at dat pleeesure a Kingg Hal,” which, most historians assume, is what prompted the “peeeple” to take pleasure in the beheading of Hal.  

Klumpanoids – Groups of sleeping Nuldoids. All Nuldoids enjoy napping, and do so usually in groups of three, four or five. Male, female and Delnoids intermingle, curl and wrap around each other until the group looks something like a “clump” of Nuldoids.  

Lloyd – Founder of Nuldoid. Though he has not been seen—or perhaps has not identified himself—in a thousand years, his influence on Nuldoid is indisputable. Having written The Book of Nuldoid shortly before his 13th death (when he was crushed between two pinion wheels), he has become somewhat iconic, if not sacrosanct, to a great many Nuldoids. The Oidenoids of Neither Norr, however, seem to have gone too far with their belief in the literal word of Lloyd—they having mangled its meaning in their interpretation. Lloyd, unfortunately, became something of a victim of his own teaching however, as his writings strongly discouraged respect and worship—while greatly emphasizing disrespect and iconoclasm. And, since many Nuldoids respected Lloyd, even worshiped him, they began to show him great disrespect and even ridicule. Which may explain why he didn’t return for a 14th life.  

Music – Music in Nuldoid is quite unpleasant to humans. Nuldoids, however, are fond of disharmony in any form. And, since the discordant and irritating sounds so closely reflect their social and spiritual beliefs, they quite enjoy a cacophony of strident and off-key tunes. The Oidenoids, on the other hand, insist on harmony in all aspects of life, and their music, as a result, is actually quite pleasant.  

Noids – Casual, often derogatory, term for Nuldoids.  

Nuldoid Powers – By most standards, Nuldoid powers are not terribly impressive or significant. That they can hover a few inches above the ground for a limited time—until someone breaks their concentration—is not an especially practical power. Their ability to cause minor aches and pains—such as headaches or temporary pain in someone’s pancreas—is somewhat useful, but has its obvious limitations.  

Oidenoids – “Wandering Conformists” as Nuldoids jokingly refer to them. Since they were kicked out of Nuldoid on Good Riddance Day, 813 C.C. (referred to by Oidenoids as “The Unjust Purge of Nuldoid”), Oidenoids have roamed the Region of Neither Norr in small bands, hoping to one day return to Nuldoid.  

Region of Neither Norr – The region extends a couple of thousand miles from the underside of the Crust to the shell that contains Nuldoid. It is a vast, untamed wilderness that Nuldoids must journey through to retrieve, or plant, Crystals on the Crust. Because a great many frootes exist in Neither Norr, it is constantly traversed by Harvesters, who often travel to the far reaches (the underside of the Crust), where the froote is more exotic and richer. Usually, the only others in Neither Norr are the outcast Oidenoids and the Sloidelobbs who have been assigned to work there. Within the region there are a great many sights, only a few of which were included in this story.

Roundabout – Nuldoid reincarnation. Though vaguely referred to in The Book of Nuldoid, Lloyd and the Council of Elders (supposedly) review the lives of Nuldoids who have died, in order to decide which form of Roundabout—full or restricted—is to be granted. Most Nuldoids are granted full Roundabout and continue on to their next life with their memory fully intact. Those who have committed heinous crimes, however, are reincarnated without their memory and must begin life again as a baby without any skills whatsoever (see Stupid Babies). Jurisdiction matters—like those referred to in this book—would not be tested again until the first manned flight to Mars in 2047, when astronaut Jon Rootness went outside of the module to repair a satellite receiver, and the crew, forgetting he was out there, took off without him  

Sloidelobbs (sometimes called Slobbles) – Hibernating Nuldoids, grossly overweight (often weighing between 250-350 pounds, they usually become unable to walk by adulthood), Sloidelobbs operate much of the machinery in Nuldoid and the Region of Neither Norr. Especially the machinery that requires mundane repetition and much downtime. They are notoriously sloppy, unkempt and extraordinarily disagreeable whenever they’re asked to actually do the jobs they have agreed to do. As well, they are highly sensitive to stress. 

The Source – Surrounded by Downtown Nuldoid, the Source is located at the very center of the open air above the city, providing it with light and warmth. It is magnetically connected to the Wheel, so it rises and descends once a day, similar to our sun. And though it cannot be seen by looking directly at it, it is quite substantive.

Stupid Babies – Nuldoid babies born with restricted Roundabout—that is reincarnation without memory. The Nuldoid that comes back to life with restricted Roundabout does so as a “blithering idiot” or a “moronoid.” That is, as newborns, they must learn to walk and talk and control their bowels and bladders all over again, hence they are often called “leakers.” Nuldoid parents are always disappointed when they learn their baby is a stupid one. As a result, however, Nuldoids have great sympathy for Crustoids, who only have stupid babies.  

Theevins – Baseball-shaped creatures with wings of unequal size and one foot. These creatures fly at night around various Nuldoid neighborhoods, stealing ashtrays, light bulbs, wallets, anything that they can loosen, lift or unscrew. Then—because they fly only in circles—they return to their owners’ homes and hide or bury the items in the backyard. Nuldoids consider them excellent pets because the owner can look forward to finding a great many “treasures” in his backyard, and because the creatures are so “annoysome” to neighbors.  

Time of Workin’ – Little is known about this era—preceding the Droiden Frobble Dynasty—except that a great many things were built, and that these ancient workers had not yet discovered beer (believed to be related factors).  

Toids – Short for “Crustoids.” This is a derogatory term, used freely by Nuldoids because derogatory terms are quite acceptable. Oidenoids, however, use the term only when Crustoids are out of earshot.  

Tunnel-holes – extending several thousand miles through the Region of Neither Norr into the Crust. They are great chambers of gravity-induced winds.

Unjust Purge of Nuldoid – (See Good Riddance Day)  

Wad – Nuldoid system, or unit, of measuring weight.  

War of Decaying Values – Touted amongst Oidenoids as their battle to reform and save Nuldoid, the War of Decaying Values was a fifty-year period leading up to Good Riddance Day in 813 C.C., when the Oidenoids were kicked out of Nuldoid. The War of Decaying Values was the Oidenoids’ push to convince other Nuldoids that there was only one way to interpret the writing of Lloyd: their way. They, however, ran into trouble when they decided to no longer argue the point, and insisted on legislating their beliefs.  

The Weary Forest – This area in Neither Norr was quite dense and dangerous. Apparently, a couple of times a day, the trees grew tired of standing and would simply fall over.  

Wett Wobbs – Small beetle-like creatures that stand on their hind feet and congregate in dry creek beds where they imitate water.

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